If you have been asking things like “Why am I still single” with no real response or solutions you can cling to, it might be time to notice what others have, but just won’t tell you!
Joe and I were almost playfully sharing a story on the air, that had recently come across our desks, that highlighted some of the relationship deal- breakers that have ended countless relationships, though the offended parties didn’t have the guts to tell their ex the real reason he or she broke up. Things came up like physical or hygiene issues. Also, it was suggested, insecurity and women in particular, being needy was a big deterrent! Simply not having their own life or interests, but focusing or worse glomming onto their partner for every detail, appears to be much too overwhelming for the average person. So then… As you hear this and maybe have the same questions, yet say, “That’s not me… That can’t be why I am still single!” Where do you start?
First the experts recommend, asking yourself what it is making you feel desperate for marriage. When we are feeling pressure because of family or society’s expectations, loneliness or even a need to satisfy a constant craving for sex... Know that after marriage, those feelings will subside and then what are you left with... Yep, just that marriage, to a person that you may have “settled for” during an emotional time! Then what? Will you bring a child into this unstable situation in the hopes “this will make everything all right?” Again, a terrible choice, ESPECIALLY for the child, and with the added pressure and all the changes that raising a family can bring, if you do not have the emotional support, good communication and stable foundation to sustain a relationship, chances are, raising a child can bring the kinds of challenges that may topple this already fragile union.
From my experience, (and believe me, I learned the hard way), I have come to understand that we gotta know who we are, and be confident in that long before we can offer ourselves to someone else! For me, I realized that this life isn’t about ME, but what God has given me special skills and opportunities for, that are focused on loving and serving Him! I have been married more than once, but knew at least early on, how important it was to wait to have sex until marriage. At least in this, I was preserved from the emotional damage that not waiting or being promiscuous can cause. However, many of us go off of expectations put on us by others. Though family or friends may be well-meaning with their direction and advice, unless we take the time to truly understand who we are in all types of circumstances, understanding what our goals are, and with issues like, raising children, dealing with money and most certainly in faith, we can wind up spinning our wheels and emotionally draining ourselves in pure frustration, as we wind up trying change our partner or deal with him or her trying to change us!
On my next blog the story continues…Find out how I actually use a scene in the retro TV show “Brady Bunch” to reinvent myself! Don't forget to "click" the picture up top to go to my subscribe page than click "Subscribe to this feed" at the top of that page to be notified in your browser when my next blog is available!