So we’ve been hashing on the challenge of being single, when you just don’t want to be. We are hearing more and more about how this ads to issues like depression in not just grown ups, but young adults too.
Something to consider… How you view yourself is a major part of the battle! For me, understanding that patience and waiting on God’s timing wasn’t a sacrifice that would leave me lonely and unwanted as some sort of old school spinster or something. Once I erased all those pop culture stigmas and cultural mores, I was able to focus on what was truly important. Remember that scene in the old TV show “The Brady Bunch” (yes, I’m pulling from a retro sitcom thank you very much), when Marcia looked directly into the mirror and repeated positive statements to herself? That was an example of claiming confidently, God’s promises, though I doubt that was the statement Sherwood Shwartz, the show’s writer was trying to make. And even for my friends that aren’t really what you would call believers in religion, the process still proves to be VERY EFFECTIVE! What you put into your mind is how your mind instructs you to proceed! Believe me, we hold ourselves back from a hell of a lot more than our circumstances! If you move forward in self-doubt and insecurity, surely a prospective partner will pick up on that. Not to trivialize it, but if you were searching for the right car or home and found an okay model, you might think you could do better, wouldn’t you?
Study after study on human interaction sites that guys and girls both are attracted to the confidence of a perspective partner! Great sense of humor was actually next! Which is a great point! Healthy minded, self assured people who “have it together” as they say, are so much easier to be around!
The question is, if you have had experiences in your life that have left you in a less confident mind set, how then do you get “back on your feet?” Answer… Find your purpose. Even if you aren’t trying to be on the cover of Fortune 500 magazine, you should at least have direction and opinions on things. Too many of us depend on others for our joy and meaning! That can be tricky because outside of our Heavenly Father, ain’t no one perfect! Plan on being disappointed when you let your feelings depend on how others treat you, think of you, respond to you… You should be sure enough in yourself and what God has made you to be, so you will not be as easily rocked by the outside world! Believe me, this was a KEY for me!
Once I figured out that last point, I actually noticed what I was looking for, was almost COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than what I HAD been looking for! And what made things even better… Though my eyes were open, I wasn’t really looking. You know how you can go to the grocery store hungry and get buyers remorse? Yeah, well, when you are focused on your path… YOUR PATH (felt it needed some emphasis)… to creating the best you, for you and your purpose, in that process, you may be surprised at what finds you. You appear more confident as you strive for YOUR goals. Not so, um… desperate!
For me, I no longer let anything in between me and my relationship with God. Which allowed me to have His thoughts, which replaced the earlier ones which had been so damaging and misleading? Clearing out the clutter is very helpful! It eliminates those miss messages that allow you to see yourself incorrectly and make choices for your life based on erroneous information!
Make sure to share your thoughts, plus on my next blog entry, I will share the single thing, that is almost one hundred percent fail-proof in moving forward in complete confidence!